


Things Were Better

by Killjoy013



Series: House Of Memories [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, Happy Azula (Avatar), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Unreliable Narrator, Young Azula, kinda???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27239080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Killjoy013/pseuds/Killjoy013
Summary: When Azula and Zuko were young, things were better. Or at least, Azula seems to think so.Ursa doesn't know her youngest. Azula is quiet and focused. But something is off about her daughter.So she watches. Azula doesn't like people. But she likes feeling powerful. She'll do anything to chase that feeling. Zuko loves his sister but she doesn't seem to like him.A slight canon alteration so the Fire siblings and Ursa can have a better ending.Angst. Fluff
Relationships: Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai - Relationship, Ursa & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: House Of Memories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016374
Comments: 7
Kudos: 76
Collections: Legends of Kolor (A collection of ATLA and LOK fics written by POC)





	Things Were Better

  


When Azula and Zuko were little, things were better. 

Zuko was born right before dawn, right on his due date. He whined right before he cried and kept crying until he was in her arms. His cries went down to precious coos. Ozai came in his eyes alight with pride. 

"My son. My beautiful son." He smiled, fully and almost boyish. 

They had settled on a name before she was in the second trimester. 

He was baby fat and chubby cheeks and hers. _Theirs._ Ursa had loved Zuko before she even met him. The babe coos, swaddled in black blankets. She can love this part of Ozai, she can love this Ozai, frozen in time, staring at Zuko with pride and his puffed out chest.

"You will do great things," Ozai promised to the infant. 

"You will be a great man," Ursa says softly.

At the time, those seemed like the same things.

(Now, she knows they never were.) 

Azula was born during a storm about a few weeks earlier than expected. She arrived hard, Ursa could feel her wiggling and twisting in her belly before her water broke. She has pressed into her stomach, little feet kicking as if she would come any way she could. 

Her nurses didn't struggle with this one. Azula came out quick, kicking and screaming to the high heavens. As if she was already angry at the world. As if she was going to already take off running.

She didn't quiet down until Ursa ran her hand to her chubby cheeks, she whines and whines, her bright eyes stare into Ursa. 

"I'm your mother, baby girl." She says, exhausted despite how easy it was. 

Ozai didn't come immediately, he was away, diplomatic relations, so she laid there, holding her softly. 

Zuko was though. He was two and stumbling into her bed. He is baby fat and smiles and bright eyes. 

"Baby!" He said in a moment of revelation. 

"Sister. She's your baby _sis-ter_." Ursa said pronouncing it. 

" _Thithter."_

Close enough. 

Azula is beautiful, the flashes of thunder and candlelight Illuminating her youngest. It felt safer just the three of them. Ursa could almost squint and see them back at her home, her real home. The fireplace combating the cold or the storm outside. The soft yellow-tinted windows. The little garden. 

(She can't ever go back home)

Zuko and now this child is her home now. That's enough. 

The happiness breaks when Ozai comes in at dawn, tired eyes, and with a name on his lips. 

_Azula._

Ursa looks down at the babe, all soft edges, and can’t see why he would name her that but he is insistent on it. She lets him win the battle but still can’t see it. 

But as the saying goes, you either grow into your name or get a new one.

Years pass like a blur. Zuko grows into a smart but sensitive boy. He is brimming with potential and talent. He's animated and eager to learn. He is her everything. He is _her_ son. 

Azula's quiet. She is talented as well. Articulate for a girl so small. She's the spitting image of Ursa in every way but personality. Sharp as a knife but so quiet. Only speaks when spoken to mostly. Her eyes seem to gaze into your soul. She watches like a messenger hawk. She is Ozai's child.

Zuko is warm to her, he always has been. Azula seems to soften for him. He tries to pull her out of her shell. Azula lets him drag her around sometimes. 

Ursa knows he gets frustrated at his sister. All she wants to do is train. She's already good for anyone her age. Azula shrugs him off at offers to read plays together or to see them.

Ursa knows there's a weed of jealousy in his eyes. Azula can do different things better than Zuko. She tries to pull that weed out before it grows. She's seen what envy can do, what it did do to Ozai. 

Zuko loved the turtleducks. It took him a while to earn their trust but he was soft and hesitant. He pets them with the gentleness of a breeze. He gives them bread as a treat but gives them carrots and peas regularly. The servants leave a bowl of sliced carrots and peas every day for Zuko. He feeds them every day, twice a day with a snack. 

The turtleducks _love_ Azula, much to the girl's bewilderment.

Whenever she’s doing Katas bright and early, they watch. When she meditates, back rigid and face blank as a slate, they crowd around her. Ursa recalls when a baby one broke Azula’s concentration with a loud quack. Her youngest opened one golden eye and glared at it. It hopped on her knee. Azula gently took it off her leg and placed it in the pond before walking back to her spot. 

It pads after her, reminding Ursa of Zuko when he just learned how to walk. 

Azula whirls around. 

It quacks. 

She nudges it with her shoe, “Go _away._ Zuko’s not here.” 

Quack. 

“I don’t know where he is! Leave me alone, I have to meditate so my flame will burn bright because firebending is about your inner flame being steady and stable! And without that center you become a wildfire and-why am I talking to this stupid thing?” 

Azula walks off and plops down. Takes a deep breath like Iroh does before he spews fire. She breathes out steam through her nose instead. She lets her hands rest on her knees, palms to the heavens. Flame flickers to them like candles. Ursa is reminded of her baby’s namesake. It’s not icy blue but a bright orange. 

The turtleduck nips at her thumb and Azula squeaks in surprise before shooting up, “Alright! Fine, what do you want? You want to get fed?” 

Azula, with all the seriousness of her father but in the body of a five-year-old, stomps over to the bowl of vegetables. She fills it up halfway with water from the fountain before lightly throwing the bowl down on the ground. The water splashes on the ground harmlessly. 

The turtleducks crowd around the bowl. Ursa stifles a giggle as Azula claps her hands together before finally, finally going back to her spot to meditate. She turns to leave her child to it but she looks so content to bask in Agni’s light. 

So she watches. Azula sits there for half an hour before going through her Katas again. And Again, this time with fire. Each time gets faster than the last and the fire gets brighter and bigger. It’s honestly breathtaking. Ursa isn’t a bender but she knows a prodigy when she sees it. Her heart beats with pride. 

But Azula doesn’t seem satisfied. It seems like not enough. There's a hunger, a drive in her eyes.

Like she’s trying to force something out. 

Ursa gently asks the patrolling servant, Zenik, to bring Azula refreshments. He bows and hurries off. 

Azula grunts with the effort. Her fire is just as bright as her eyes. It’s yellow, like the sunlight Azula’s in. Her last stance is the fire fists. White Flame spews out before sputtering back to yellow and then familiar red. Without the heat in the way, Ursa can see her child’s face.

Azula’s panting and sweating but she doesn’t look pleased. She looks disappointed. 

It’s not enough for her. 

Ursa’s stomach churns. She ignores it and sips her tea instead. It's cold.

Azula’s just trying a little too hard. She’ll ask Ozai about it and see what he says. 

Azula jumps when Zenik brings her fruit and cold water. She takes it and after a hesitant moment, thanks him. 

“Your Mother, The Princess, asked me to.” He says, eyes flitting her hiding spot. 

“Oh.” She hears Azula say, blinking before she whispers a command to Zenik who bows. 

Minutes later, there’s a steaming cup of green tea and sliced peaches being presented to Ursa.

Maybe her child isn’t a hard puzzle to crack.

Maybe Ursa just has to watch and observe. 

Zuko makes friends. Ty-Lee and Mai. They seem to all balance each other out. Ty-lee is bubbly and light on her feet, jumping from one thing to the next. Mai is steady and calm, bringing Zuko and Ty-Lee back down to earth. 

Ursa stills when Ozai remarks about him being a ladies' man already. She smiles widely when Zuko politely waves it off, "Dad, Ty's always in the clouds and Mai? No, she just wouldn't."

"You're blushing." Ozai laughs. He pokes Zuko in the ribs.

"I'm-I'm not!"

Azula says nothing and eats fast and heavy. Ursa notices offhandedly that her plate is high in protein. She resists a good-natured eye roll. Of course, Azula's bulking up so she can train. That child has a one-track mind. 

Her stomach churns again. She blames it on the second glass of wine. Dessert is Zuko's favorite. 

(What's _Azula's_ favorite dessert? Ursa will ask the girl when she remembers to.)

Ursa smiles at the scene in front of her. She pats Azula's shoulder and rubs her hand to rest on her back. 

Azula freezes and then slowly forces herself to relax. There's something stiff under her clothes. 

_Feels like a bandage_ , a tiny part of her whispers. But Ozai would have told her if Azula was badly hurt during training, she's sure. 

Right?

Then Zuko's talking about plays and character arcs and Ursa snaps back to reality. 

She goes to sleep, full and fuzzy from the wine, and Zuko's warm smile as she tucked him in. Azula fell asleep as soon as she hit the bed. Ursa had taken her top knot out and combed her hair. The sleep clothes the servants dressed her in are loose. The red fabric falls off of Azula's bony shoulder. 

It's gauze on her shoulder. 

Ursa presses a kiss on the bandage and tucks her in. 

"Good night, baby girl. Sweet dreams." She hums. Azula clings to her pillow like a person. Ursa puts out the candles. She doesn't hear a whimper from her youngest as she sings a tune on her way to her chambers. It feels good. She can squint and feel happiness. She can grab it and try to retain it for when Ozai's angry. To hold it to her chest and treasure it.

(Ursa never remembers to ask about the dessert. The thought never comes back.)

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this, you totally should comment and leave kudos so I know what you like and don't like. Constructive criticism and/or commentary is super helpful and appreciated! Thanks for reading!
> 
> KJ


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